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Unhappiness is not a disease. From time to time, it is part of being human.

For some people, unhappiness becomes a permanent state, and then professional intervention may be required. That is not the subject of this blog. I am addressing normal people who, from time to time, find themselves unhappy—and wonder why.

I asked myself whether unhappiness can be understood, and even treated, by analyzing it through the PAEI code.

Unhappiness from Doing What You Don’t Like (P)

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We may be unhappy simply because we do not like what we are doing. In that case, the (P) role is not functioning well. If this unhappiness is prolonged, the solution is to change what you do—find another job, either in the same company or in another one.

If changing tasks is not possible, try to identify parts of your work that you do like, and consciously focus on them. Strengthening the (P) role often reduces unhappiness.

Unhappiness from Lack of Order and Routine (A)

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Another source of unhappiness—which has been a source of pain for me personally—is lack of order and lack of routine. I feel overwhelmed, often confused, and therefore unhappy.

This stems from the intensity of my life: extensive travel, many assignments, responsibility for clients, the Adizes Institute, my family, my community, and deep concern about the situation in Israel. Altogether, this made me feel ineffective and overwhelmed.

By deciding not only what to do, but—more importantly—what not to do, and by creating routines wherever possible, my unhappiness took a back seat. Strengthening the (A) role restored clarity and calm.

Unhappiness from Lack of Meaning (E)

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Another form of unhappiness occurs when you wake up in the morning and do not know why you live, why you are alive, or what you are doing in this world. Worse still is the feeling that no one really needs you anymore.

This often happens to women who dedicated their entire adult life to their family and children. When the children leave the nest, they feel unnecessary, without a reason to get up in the morning. In this case, the (E) role is deficient.

The solution is to find a need that you can fulfill. I have seen elderly people volunteer in hospitals, walking patients to their destination. At the end of the walk, someone says, “Thank you.” Someone needed them—and meaning returned.

Unhappiness from Relationships (I)

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Finally, unhappiness may stem from relationships. You may not like the people you are with—your spouse, children who disappoint you, or friends who do not live up to your expectations.

When the (I) role is weak, loneliness and disappointment follow, even when everything else seems fine. The remedy is to find new friends and schedule time you meet like every Sunday morning for brunch to talk and laugh or whatever makes you happy.

Diagnose Before You Treat

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If you can diagnose what is causing your unhappiness—identify which of the PAEI roles is deficient or in trouble—and focus on strengthening that role, you may be able to overcome unhappiness without medication or therapy.